You may have a hard time trusting your partner not because of what they have done but as a result of
past personal experiences. But your trust issue can be resolved if you are true to yourself, trusting
your heart and instincts before you can really trust someone else. Rick Clemons of Your Tango lists 5
ways to prevent your trust issues from ruining your relationship:
1. Trust Yourself: I know it’s already been said, but this is truly the starting point of resolving
trust issues. In the somewhat similar words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t trust yourself, how the hell
ya ever going to trust someone else?” (Uh hum! Preach, sistah!)
2. Define What Trust Means: … for you and your partner. Hello, we ain’t mind readers, and if you
believe you are, then why are you having trust issues? You’d already know what your partner is
thinking. For the rest of us, ask (as in: your partner … for the info you need) and ye shall receive.
Talk about trust. Discuss it! Discover what might make trust issues arise in your unique relationship.
3. Take A Look In The Mirror: I hate to say it, but often, trust issues arise because what you see
in someone else is an issue directly reflecting something you don’t want to see in yourself. It could be that you’re fearful your partner is cheating because you’re the considering an affair (or might already be involved physically or emotionally with someone else). You may not even realize it’s causing wicked scripts of “Cheater is as cheater does,” to play out in the fabulous stage play that is your real life. Look at yourself, and ask, “What’s really going on with my trust issues?” The honest answer may shock you, but it could also stop you from being a crazy maker.
4. Have An Open Relationship: GASP. Did I just advocate having an open relationship? YES! As in
an “open, transparent, let’s communicate, and quit hiding that we each have trust issues, admit our stuff” relationship. No, this doesn’t mean you take on different lovers (although if that makes the trust issues scamper away, more power to you). But what I’m really advocating for is being open and vulnerable so that trust issues become dead non- issues, rather than a dead relationship!
5. Give Trust To Get Trust: If you put trust in, you’ll get some back. One of the hardest parts about
trust, and resolving trust issues, is giving trust freely. However, when it’s a gift that keeps on giving,
then it’s easy to see trust issues retreat. That said, the moment you take trust without giving it back in
return, you’ve abused the vulnerable gesture the other person offered you. And, no one appreciates being abused!
We’d love to hear your thoughts! Please leave a comment!